July 2nd, 2002

Self-Portrait 3

"Bunch of savages in this town." "That's what I said."

A chance encounter last night led to my setting foot in Mallet for the first time in at least six months, and I'm feeling very neutral about the experience. The place looks different, superficially, and the physical differences are pretty indicative of the deeper changes that have gone on in the past year, which I think is kind of funny. It feels very sterile and antiseptic over there now, and as a consequence very unwelcoming. The lights are way too bright, and I 'm kind of surprised they haven't painted the walls white. Just take the whole "clean room" motif and run with it.

You step in, and you very much get the impression that if you step out of line even a little bit the hammer comes down. That's the kind of place Mallet is now, so that's appropriate, I guess. But still sad, because that's everything that Mallet was created to NOT be.

I might go back every once in a while, tho. I think I'd fit in pretty well, seeing as how it didn't take long to notice the undercurrent of dislike. There were a bunch of people in the drawing room when I walked in, and as the night wore on and they factioned off into their little cliques it became pretty obvious that most of them didn't like each other, and that there were yet more cliques in the building that none of them liked, either. Yet they still talk to each other and put on the civil faces. Learning the patterns of the two-facedness would provide a pretty good bit of amusement, if I ever get that bored next year.