December 13th, 2002

Self-Portrait 3

(no subject)

I need a little bird or something to sit on my shoulder and whisper in my ear, constantly reminding me of the things I need to be doing at any given moment. I realize that other people have this little thing called a "brain" that serves this function for them, but apparently mine needs to go back to the shop.

I've always been a little bit scatterbrained, but lately it's gotten to the point that if I'm doing something, and I start thinking about doing something else, if I don't at least get started on "something else" within the next five minutes, it's right out. I'll remember it an hour later and go "Shit!"

And I'll make mental notes to do certain things, and I'll remember them, on average, about eight or nine hours too late to do any good. Or one thing of two or three things that are nagging at me will pop into my head, and I won't even think about the other two. Like last night, when I went over to Luke and Michelle's, I meant to borrow her copy of One Hundred Years of Solitude. But did I remember to? Of course not. Something else that I needed to do popped into the forefront of my brain, and the book was completely forgotten. I also meant to snag back a couple of CD's that she'd borrowed, but did I remember those either? Again, of course not. I also forgot to call my mother last night. Stupid brain.

Oh well. I don't suppose I should complain too much. I did remember to do the one thing that was actually important. Oh, wait, no I didn't. Michelle remembered while I was standing there trying to remember. Double-Stupid brain.

Or maybe I'm just getting old.
Self-Portrait 3

"Do you like my mask? Isn't it pretty, it raises the dead!"

Even tho' Michelle pointed this out to me last night, I just now realized that today is Friday the 13th. No wonder I've been in such a twitchy mood today.

In recent years I've sort of had a change of heart about the whole Friday the 13th phenomenon. Hypothetically speaking, of course, if you're the superstitious sort and you believe in that sort of thing. Should a general malaise of bad luck just sort of... settle on Friday the 13th, then you should by all means be prepared to deal with the bad things. BUT, this also means that there's really no reason for you to try and be extra-cautious or anything. If the bad things are going to just happen, then they're going to just happen regardless of what you do. So you may as well use this as an excuse to do things you might want to do but wouldn't normally do, like ask your cute blonde friend if she'd like to go to dinner with you. You know, hypothetically. If you believe in that sort of thing.

But it's still hard for me to get rid of that "bad things are coming" itch that's in the back of my brain. And so the challenge of trying to balance being a civilized human being with acting on instinct continues.