February 24th, 2003

Self-Portrait 3

Grammy Award = UTTERLY irrelevant paperweight

No, I didn't watch the Grammys, because I'd already pretty much written them off as being a marketing boost that record companies buy for their artists and not an actual measure of musical talent and/or merit.

**And as a complete aside, the Oscars are FAST heading in that same direction, but that's another rant altogether, one that I may or may not bother with**

But my curiosity has gotten the better of me, and I'm reading the winners list now, and it's just proving how right I am.

John Mayer won the Best Male Pop Vocal Performance Grammy for "Your Body is a Wonderland", the song that holds the dubious "honor" of dethroning Train's "Drops of Jupiter" as the most inanely insipid bullshit I've ever had the excruciating displeasure of wanting to shatter my eardrums to get away from, and one of the flat-out worst songs I've ever heard. I have no idea who he was competing against, but even given the utterly pathetic state of popular music today, on of them just HAD to be better than that piece of crap.

And for the love of God-- Nelly won Best Male Rap Solo Performance for "Hot in Herre". For the love of Christ Jesus, fucking NELLY. I don't know who he was competing against, and I don't care. It doesn't matter, because they're better than he is. I'm better than Nelly. A retard farting into a microphone is better than Nelly. Nelly is such an awful performer that I won't call him a "rapper", because that would insult people who can actually rap. Christ FUCK. I had the extreme misfortune of hearing about a minute of that aural abortion that was him, Britney Spears, and N'Sync ruining Aerosmith at the SuperBowl halftime show a couple years back, and he's even worse live than he is on his records.

You know, I'm not even going to bother reading the rest of the winners list. I already want to kill somebody, and I'm not even halfway down the page. If I found out that that no-talent assclown Avril Lavigne won a Grammy I don't think I'd be able to take it.
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