October 7th, 2003

Self-Portrait 3

The only way to win is not to play.

-- Poor Kobe Bryant. Didn't you learn anything from OJ, son? Them damn white wimmen ain't nothin' but trouble.

-- My only response to this whole Sigfried and Roy thing is to trot out this old chestnut.

-- I told Luke that the reason Superman ends up on his knees in a cage with a piece of Kryptonite hanging around his neck while Batman is surrounding the white Martians with puddles of lighter fluid and dropping flaming notes on them that say "I know your secret" is because Batman has a plan. Not only does he have a plan, but he assumes it isn't going to work. So he's got a backup plan. Which probably won't work either, so there's a backup for it, too. Batman gets to the point where he's improvising somewhere around Plan F.

But I think an even more appropriate analogy, given the circumstances, would be sitting down to play a game of checkers with the Black Panther. You think you've got him on the ropes and all but finished off, then suddenly he busts a move on you and you realize that (a) not only has he been three moves ahead of you the whole time, but (b) on top of that, you're actually playing chess.

I'd explain, but trust me, it's all very complicated. Also, there's a lot of math.
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