January 9th, 2004

Self-Portrait 3

"Mass Transit. Next summer; Catch the Train"

Mass Transit is an idea that me, Josh, and the Chunns came up with one year on the way back from DragonCon. This may either be the year we passed by Crutcher as his van was smoking and sputtering and about to break down, or it may have been the year after. Anyway, we'd been joking most of the time we were in Atlanta about the creepy voice that announced destinations on the subway, and someone, I think Cooper, said something about an artificial intelligence program running the Marta trains. We started making jokes about what kind of really bad movie you could make out of the Marta AI going insane, and then we realized that with the deplorable state of Hollywood and moviemaking in America at the time, we could probably sell this idea to somebody at Miramax and make a killing.

Given the deplorable state of Hollywood and moviemaking in America right now, I'm sure we could pitch this idea to somebody at Miramax and make a killing. Fucking Miramax.
Self-Portrait 3

(no subject)

The pitch for Mass Transit basically goes like this: An older scientist and his younger partner, both of whom are computer programmers/engineers, design an artificial intelligence to operate a city's subway system. It's important that the subway have a female-sounding name, like MARTA, because the older scientist bases it's personality on his daughter, who is a police officer in this city.

The AI proves so successful that it's given control of a brand new, ultra modern, state of the art skyscraper / office complex. But, just before the building is opened to the public, the older scientist is murdered by criminals trying to steal something hidden in the building, and the AI goes insane with grief and uses the building and mass transit system as her means of exacting revenge. So what you end up with is the scientist's partner, his daughter, and her partner, working together to stay one step of the AI and stop it before it does too much damage or kills too many people. It's Speed meets Die Hard. And of course, Young Programmer and Cop Daughter already know each other and they don't get along. But they have to put aside their animosity and work together to stop the AI, and they fall in love along the way.

I had Ben Kingsley or Patrick Stewart in mind for the older programmer. And even tho' this was at least four years ago, I shit you not, the plan was to get Affleck to play his partner and Jennifer Lopez for his daughter. And I wanted to get Ice Cube to play her partner, just so I could throw in some Anaconda jokes.

All this is (c) 2000 Will Cockrell, because in spite of what the UK Daily Star thinks, it doesn't matter if it's on the internet, you can still copyright it.