March 24th, 2004

Self-Portrait 3

(no subject)

CHUD has a huge, sprawling, four-part article up called "100 Movies That Deserve More Love". Reading it and annotating for future reference which of these movies I need to at least rent and watch and which ones I need to just outright buy has been my distraction from the drudgery at work for the past few hours.

A Simple Plan -- Bill Paxton and Billy Bob "I fucked Angelina Jolie. A lot." Thornton in Sam Raimi's first film that didn't feature fake blood and/or latex by the bucketload. Sounds like fun to me.

The Devil's Backbone -- I've heard very good things about it, and the commentary track on Blade II was enough to convince me that Guillermo del Toro is the shit. Also, there's a baby in a jar with his spine sticking out of his back.

The Arrival -- I hate myself for it, because The Arrival really does kinda suck, but the line "Actually, I look like a can of smashed assholes." can make up for quite a bit of suckitude.

Equilibrium -- The cops are called Clerics and they train in a martial art where one of the primary weapons is a .45 automatic. This is one of those things where I can't help but wonder why I haven't already seen this. I'm worried that it can't live up to the hyping that I've heard some people give it, but then again I hear some dude gets his face taken off the front of his head. You can't beat that with a stick.

Deep Rising -- Treat. Motherfucking. Williams. Although, I do take issue with Deep Rising in that they kill the hot Chinese girl, which is a no-no. I don't care if you're making a slasher flick called "Death of the Hot Chinese Girl", the hot Chinese girl needs to make it all the way to the end.

Young Sherlock Holmes -- I vaguely remember this being cool as hell when I was a kid. I wonder if it's stood the test of time?

The Ref -- Dennis Leary, Kevin Spacey, and dysfunctional family fun. Like most everything Dennis Leary ever did, it's probably something I enjoyed a lot more when I was bitter and angry.

Nothing to Lose -- One of the better buddy comedies out there, with a fairly believable, if not exactly plausable, setup behind it. Plus, Giancarlo Esposito and John C. McGinley as dirty-ass semi-bumbling petty thieves. What's not to like about that?

Atlantis: The Lost Empire -- Disney tried to make an actual animated movie instead of one of their song and dance kiddiefests, so it's probably very good in spite of the fact that no one went to see it. Plus, Mike Mignola production design. Can't go wrong with that.

Fright Night -- Probably the best "societal misfit dork-as-hero" movie ever. And it's a ton of fun.

Wanted: Dead or Alive -- Early Eighties. Rutger Hauer. You know you like it.

The Edge -- Anthony Hopkins. Alec Baldwin. Written by David Mamet. A fucking grizzly bear. Why haven't I seen this movie?

Miami Blues -- This has nothing to reccomend it but the fact that it's the same people who did Gross Pointe Blank. Which is actually more than enough.

The King of New York -- Hell. Yes.

A Bill and Ted Double Feature -- Excellent Adventure (still Keanu Reeves' finest work) and Bogus Journey.

Universal Soldier -- As much for it's "Hey kids, drugs can turn you into a hero!" message as the fact that it's Dolph and JCVD.

In the Line of Fire -- Great, great flick that I absolutely cannot watch on cable. The only film I've seen get more thoroughly dickslapped by the pan-and-scan process is Ghostbusters II. Also, Rene Russo. In a suit.

One False Move -- I remember back when I first moved into Mallet and the dirty bastards were thieving Showtime. There was a stretch when they showed this a lot, and the commercials looked great, but I never got around to seeing it. It's got Bill Paxton, which is enough for me already, and a quote from the commercials turned into a mantra that's gotten me through many a frustrating day at work: "We're gonna be calm, we're gonna be cool, and we're not gonna kill anybody unless we have to."

Drive -- I've never even vaguely heard of this before, but Mark Dacascos serving up beat-downs like IHOP and Brittany Murphy back when she was still hot? Sign me up.

Rounders -- Nuff said. If it isn't, go watch it.

Ed Wood -- "Come on! Let's shoot this fucker!"

Point Break -- Just because.

Zero Effect -- You know, I've always wanted to see this, even tho' it features Ben Stiller, who is commit-suicide-by-holding-your-piss-til-your-bladder-explodes-to-escape-him-unfunny. It's got Bill Pullman, who I for some reason have always liked, and it's a detective yarn; points for that. Also, I've always liked movies about people who are obviously smarter than the masses but still can't figure out how to function in normal society. Gee, I wonder why.

Gods and Monsters -- I actually don't know why I want to see this, other than the fact that it looks really good. And it's got Sir Ian in it, which is never a bad thing.

The Prophecy -- Christopher Walken kills people by looking at them and putting his finger across his lips and shushing them. He can do that because he's the Archangel Gabriel. I can't remember if it's this one or the somewhat inferior Prophecy 2 where he does the even cooler bit of letting a bunch of schookids dick around with the Trumpet of Judgement, which is terribly funny.
  • Current Mood
    Bored as hell.