October 27th, 2004

Self-Portrait 3

(no subject)

The university had it's Employee health fair today. I got my body mass index done and found out that I'm apparently "seriously obese". Which, seeing as how I can see my ribs, was sort of news to me. I got my blood pressure checked, and it was on the upper end of normal, which it always is when I get it checked, but it still always surprises me. I always expect my blood pressure to be higher than it always ends up being, then I think about the fact that aside from my job I really do lead a very nearly stress-free life. I went to the table for the chiropractic center and spent a couple minutes on a water massage table, which was amazingly relaxing. I also went around to every table in the place and got an amazing amount of free swag.

Free Swag and junk that I got at the health fair

-- A pack of Starburst, six tootsie rolls, a chocolate eyeball (from the optometrist's table, which I personally thought was a nice touch), two caramel Hershey's kisses, and a bag of microwave popcorn.

-- A coupon for a free burger from Sonic and one for a free raspberry limeade from Sonic. Also coupons for a free chicken sandwich, a free kid's meal, and three each of breakfast biscuits, 8 packs of nuggets, and chargrilled chicken sandwiches from Chick-fil-A.

-- Coupon for a free cookie from McAlister's.

-- Card fom the chiropractic center

-- Card and brochure entitled "Obstructive Sleep Apnea & Snoring" from the Snow Sleep Center here in Tuscaloosa (Dave, make sure you tell Cooper about that one).

-- Brochures from the American Cancer Society, one entitled "Colorectal Cancer - Early Detection Saves Lives" and the other called "Get Smart about Testicular Cancer" (you don't so much have to tell her about those. Unless you want to). These brochures serve a dual-fold purpose for me. Not only do I find their titles funny as hell, but I love both my colon and my testicles very dearly and would like to hang onto both of them for as long as possible. Well, all three of them if you want to get technical about it.

That's it for the brochures and shit. Now onto the massive haul of actual physical swag

-- A fan from the Employee Assistance Program
-- A notepad from the North Harbor Pavillion
-- A three-pack of combination notepad/mousepads from Walgreens
-- Ten pens, seven of which actually worked, one of which worked so well I actually brought it home with me. That was the Healthsouth pen. I guess since Richard Scrushy isn't robbing them blind anymore they can afford to not cheap out on the giveaway pens.
-- A chip clip from the Capstone Village
-- Two sample packets of Biofreeze pain reliever gel
-- A packet of moist towelettes from the Radiology Clinic
-- A little vinyl wallet, also from the Radiology Clinic, that contains two Anacin tabs, a moist towelette, an antiseptic towelette, a band-aid, and a sewing board with six different kinds of thread, a needle threader, and two needles. It's either a combination first-aid/sewing kit, or an emergency surgery kit. You make the call!
-- A pocket sewing kit
-- A very sturdy foam coaster
-- A magnifying bookmark, from the West Alabama Agency on Aging
-- Five refridgerator magnets
-- A churchkey from the Alabama Credit Union, which I should probably use to replace the battered churchkey that's so worn down that I'm the only one who can get anything open with it because it's been on my keyring for well more than a decade, but I'm not going to
-- An "October is smack your bitch up month" purple ribbon
-- Two of those little letter openers with the razors in them, one of which has a magnet on the back
-- An eyeglasses-repair kit
-- A little tin of mints that looks like it's got pills in it because it's got a drug brand painted on it
-- A paperclip holder
-- A toothbrush, a spool of floss, and a box of plastic toothpicks
-- A set of golf tees and a little thing to place the tees with
-- And a little plastic pill box, with a different compartment for every day. Just what I've always wanted.
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