June 16th, 2005

Self-Portrait 3

"Come on, titty"!

-- Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winnar!!

THIS will be the next utterly unimportant thing the media latches onto in their ongoing quest to not report the actual news. I guarantee it. Unless some other rich white girl decides to step up to the plate, this is what they're gonna run with.

-- Watch it, Frenchy. The last time guys like you started gettin' all uppity, somebody decided to have a guillotine party.
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Daredevil Pie

Wherein I render your 'poll' meaningless

Gooey Rice Krispie Bars

1 cup Karo Light Corn Syrup
1 cup granulated sugar
1/2-teaspoon salt
1-cup crunchy or creamy peanut butter
5 cups Rice Krispies
1-cup semi-sweet chocolate chips

Combine Karo syrup, sugar and salt in a medium saucepan and cook over
medium heat, stirring to dissolve sugar. Bring to
a boil; add peanut butter and stir until blended. Remove from heat.
Stir in cereal. Pour into greased 9" x 13" pan; pat with greased
spatula or waxed paper to level.

Melt chocolate chips in small saucepan over low heat, stirring
constantly. Spread over bars. Cool and cut into squares.

Did it win? No. Is it the easiest thing to prepare? Yes. Once again I crush popular opinion under my jackbooted heel. Which reminds me, just on general principle, I could really use a pair of jackboots.
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Daredevil Pie

Taste Test

Aquafina's new flavored waters, introduced, I imagine, in response to Coke's Dasani Flavored Water.

--Aquafina Flavor Splash, Citrus Blend -- Tastes like somebody filtered it through an old sock made out of goose dick.

--Aquafina Flavor Splash, Wild Berry -- You can actually taste something that's readily identifiable as "berry flavor", but there's a funky sort of overtaste to it. Not horrible, but still not quantifiable as "good".

--Aquafina Flavor Splash, Raspberry -- Actually tastes like what you expect from an artificially flavored raspberry-flavored food product, but it smells like a car air freshener, and the taste comes with a floor-cleaner-esque backwash.

Verdict: FAIL
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