I will never, never, ever try a bite of one of KFC's Famous Bowls
. It looks disgusting. The food critic for the LA Times said eating it was 'like throwing up in reverse'. Completely ignoring for the moment the question of why the fuck the food critic for the Los Angeles Times is wasting his fucking day eating food from Kentucky Fried Chicken in the first place, that seems like a terribly accurate description.
The first time I saw a commercial for those things, the first thing that went through my mind was "Oh my God, that would be like eating fucking vomit!". Actually, the very first thing that went through my mind was that I'd accidentally changed the channel to a SNL rerun, but it was very closely followed by "Oh my God, that would be like eating fucking vomit!".
But the main reason I'll never try one is that there's a possiblity, however small, that I might like it. Corn, fried chicken, mashed potatoes, cheese, sweet delicious gravy; these are all things I like. True, the likelihood of them being "five great tastes that taste great together" is infinitesimally small, but it's still there. So I'll just leave them alone and not take the chance. That someone even thought of this fills me with revulsion enough; the fact that enough people agree with whoever was the first guy to dump corn, fried chicken, mashed potatoes, cheese, and gravy into one bowl, take a big spoonful, and go "Damn! That shit's good!" to make charging money for it a viable option fills me with a chilling dread. The risk that I might join their ranks is not one I'm willing to take.
None of which changes the fact that I skipped lunch today and I'm absolutely starving. Shit.