I had the following exchange on the phone with my mother last night --
Her: "Oh, Lord, look at that."
Me: "What are you watching?"
Her: "William Shatner. He's on Boston Legal. (pause) I guess he ate up all his Star Trek money."
See, ladies, this is why I'm single. Because
I'm an emotionally unavailable schlubby fatass that's what you have to measure up to.