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Self-Portrait 3
While dinner's baking--


-- A box of tissues

-- A brick of sticky notes

-- A sample pack of Udderly Smooth Hand Cream, which I'm honestly kind of scared of.

-- Only one(!) letter opener

-- Magnets from Hospice of West Alabama and the Center for Cosmetic and Restorative Dentistry. And speaking of the Center for Cosmetic and Restorative Dentistry...

-- A box of plastic toothpicks, a roll of dental floss, a tube of lip balm, a sample-size tube of Mild Mint Crest (which DAMN, doesn't smell very Mild), and two toothbrushes.

-- Another toothbrush, from MetLife

-- Eleven pens; six of them are cheap bic clickers, two of them are slightly less-cheap papermate clickers, and three of them are actually quality pens.

-- A TIAA/CREF Supplemental Retirement Plan Enrollment Kit(?)

-- Two Tootsie Rolls, two Dum-Dum pops, a roll of Smarties, one regular Kit-Kat, and four Triple Chocolate Kit-Kats; Retard John and I got into a candy race.

Not as good as last year, but still not a bad haul.

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So with that kind of diet you're going to die soon.....can I have your car?

You can completely, 100%, without any sort of equivocation or qualification, have my car when I die.

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