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A Public Service Announcemet for May 6, 2003
Self-Portrait 3
I noticed yesterday that the Coca-Cola company is putting ou a new product called Sprite ReMix. It looks like Sprite in a clear bottle instead of a green one, and the label advertises it as "Sprite with Tropical Flavors". You, as well, may have noticed this.

If you in fact have noticed this new product, you might, like me, be curious about it and be tempted to sample it. I gave in to my curiosity last night and purchased a bottle, and it sits waiting for me in my refridgerator. However, this morning I saw that they're carrying it at the Corner, so I decided to pick up a bottle and give it a go.

This was what is known in the general parlance as a "mistake".

Unless you're one of the rare few who enjoys the sensation of being punched in the mouth by a fist made out of ass, I would suggest staying far, far away.

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I had this same thing happen to me when Pepsi Blue came out. After I had my taste buds raped that once, I decided not to try old colas with new spins and have steered clear of this Sprite ReMix.

Remember Pepsi Clear? It was insane. It tasted like Pepsi! But it was clear! Oh, the madness!

See, I actually like Pepsi Blue. It's not my favorite or anything, but I'll drink one every once in a while if I want something different. And I was one of the four people in the world who actually liked Clear Pepsi, but I still agree that it was pure madness.

But this Sprite ReMix stuff? Ugh. I'm trying to give it a fair shake and actually finish the bottle, but that aftertaste keeps getting worse and worse.

That was extremely well written and funny, but I actually like it.

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