Will (hellblazer) wrote,

Back on that ass, with a hellified gangsta lean...

...Gettin fukny on the mic like a old batch of collard greens.

The past week has been a very confusing time for me. Well, no more so than usual, really. I think it would be more accurate to say that the past week has found me examining things that are familiar to me from a fairly different perspective, which has gotten me to examining the perspective itself, which is proving to be far, far more interesting in the context of how things relate to me as a person.

Interesting in the sense that I'm finding it increasingly difficult to care how things relate to me as a person. In fact, to not put too fine a point on it, I'm finding it increasingly difficult to care about anything. What was formerly a Vulcan-esque level of emotional discipline that I enacted purely as a self-defense mechanism has turned into a fairly high level of emotional insensitivity, the threshold of which appears to be that I'll get pissed about something every once in a great while, and genuine concern that the only emotional reaction I'm capable of these days (aside from the anger and the concern) appears to be dismissive contempt.

It's actually a fairly entertaining concept, on the face of it. Deliberately maintaining an emotional distance from the rest of the world seems to have had the unforeseen side effect of rendering me unable to close that emotional distance now that a circumstance has arisen wherein I actually want to close the gap.

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.