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Self-Portrait 3
Merry Christmas, one and all. Here's my Christmas gift to everyone: If you watch Grosse Pointe Blank and pretend it's the sequel to Say Anything, it's even better. Just pretend Minnie Driver is Ione Skye and that dude from Dharma and Greg is John Mahoney.

Also, keep in mind when you go to sleep tonight that just like It does every Christmas, the ghost of Jesus is rising from the grave to feed on the flesh of the living. Watch your back.

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Somebody definitely watched The Family Guy on Cartoon Network tonight.

I don't know the Family Guy reference Shane's making, but I know Michelle and I have had that exact same sequel conversation recently.

I'm missing a kidney. I thought my crazy grandma had taken it to sell on the black market, but if jesus has it, that's ok.

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